2019 was a difficult year, as had been the previous two years, in the life of my cousin. Earlier in 2019, his wife took ill suddenly on a road trip to Florida with another couple. She had a heart attack she could not recover from and passed away due to the complications and her weakened condition. Shortly after my cousin walked through that, he was diagnosed with esophageal cancer and began that trek. He first went through radiation with surgery scheduled to clean up the cancer residue remaining and rebuild his esophagus. The surgery took place at the beginning of October. His age worked against him – he was 78 at the time of surgery – along with his exhaustion from all the year’s previous heartache and complications. In addition, the surgery didn’t go as planned. The surgeon did not achieve a complete seal when creating a new esophagus, causing leakage into the chest cavity when he consumed food and drink after the surgery. As a result of the leakage, my cousin developed an infection in the chest cavity, and he landed in the Critical Care Unit fighting for his life.
One night, he was fighting for every breath. He was fearful he wouldn’t make it through the night, but finally, he fell asleep and had a dream.
Before he could recount the dream to me, he had to preface it by explaining that when he and his brothers were small, in the 1940s, they would create their own entertainment. Their parents, my great uncle and aunt, were extremely poor, like everyone in their little town. His father owned and operated a sawmill. My cousin recounted how he and his brothers would play around the mill. One afternoon they found some pieces of sheet metal and designed their newest toys. Each took their sheet metal and punched holes around the edges so they could attach pieces of rope to each hole. On the other end of the rope, they tied tin cans. Then they could run carrying the sheet metal with the tin cans dragging the ground. The one with the most cans made the greatest noise and was by far the most successful toy. My cousin confided that he knew he had the best creation and he was quite proud of his achievements. Back to the dream….
The dream began with my cousin walking along a wide road pulling his toy. He was proud of his toy, his creation, and was distracted by it. He started to notice others traveling along around him, each pulling their own toy. He realized, intuitively, the toy each pulled with them represented their “stuff.” As he continued along the path, he noticed the path getting hotter….the ground getting hotter. As he would slow down or stop along the path, those around him would encourage him on, “Come on! Let’s go, keep moving.” All the while, tugging his sleeve, patting him on the back, etc. to keep everyone moving forward. My cousin thought, “if everyone else is going this way, I guess I should too,” so he kept going, but it was also getting hotter and hotter. He noticed as he stepped on some gravel, the road was so hot the gravel disintegrated under his feet; the heat was getting unbearable. Down the road, he came to a large gate and he saw others passing through. As he put his hand on the gate to go through, he looked back behind him. He saw in the distance behind him a large opening with a beautiful radiant light shining through. As he was captured by the light, he then noticed a figure in the light. He couldn’t see the figure face-on, instead a silhouette of a man, and the voice of that man was speaking to him by name, “You don’t want to go through that gate… You want to come to me. Come this way.”
My cousin knew he should go that way and wanted to. He then noticed that some of those that had gone through the gate were now trying to come back through and couldn’t. The gate wouldn’t open from the other side. He started making his way toward the voice and the light, noticing a small path before it with a few people also traveling on the small path toward the voice and light and entering through the opening. As he started to make his way toward the light and the voice, those around him again were instructing him to keep going toward the gate with them, attempting to pull him with them. He pushed and fought his way against the crowd believing it would take forever while making his way up to the lit opening where the silhouette of the man was, and the dream ended.
When he woke up, he remembered the dream and thought to himself, “What kind of drugs are they giving me here?” And then he dismissed the dream. He made it through the next day still in critical care and again that night fell asleep. He had the same exact dream again. And then he understood. The Lord was speaking to him. As he recounted the dream to me, I was amazed that the Lord had given him a dream illustrating the scripture:
Matthew 7:13-14
“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”
As he and I continued to discuss the dream and its meaning, I asked him what the dream meant to him. He quickly responded with tears running down his face, “I GET ANOTHER CHANCE! I get the chance to right wrongs. I have done some awful things; I have treated people so badly, and I get to address those things. I have another chance…” He also talked about how he had gotten distracted in life with business, family, etc., the everyday cares of life, and had not given himself to the Lord.
After that, his health took some twists and turns to find him in the care of Hospice with only days or hours left. I visited him multiple times in the weeks and months after the dream. As we talked, he assured me he had taken care of “things” and was ready to step through the opening to the voice, the silhouette, and the other side. During the last few days of his life, I was able to visit daily and say goodbye. I was reminded we are all just days away from that final exit on Earth. I told him again how much I loved him, and I would see him soon.
My beloved cousin, with his son and daughter-in-law at his side, slipped away from us on a Monday night earlier this year and joined his Heavenly Father as he passed through that magnificent opening into the beautiful radiant light and a glorious Eternity.
I have never personally had an opportunity like this before. My cousin and I have always had some relationship, but then a few years ago, Randy, my husband, and I visited my cousin and his wife one Sunday evening. The evening resulted in conversation none of us anticipated, discussion that had to do with hurts, bitterness, and unforgiveness and how the Lord views all of that. From that night on, we had a bond, a closeness, that had not existed before.
Last year when his wife died unexpectedly during their trip, my cousin found himself all alone at the hospital. Family members were on their way to join him when it was clear his beloved wife wouldn’t make it, but due to the hospital being so far away from their home, he was alone for a few hours during those last critical moments. As he was leaving the hospital immediately after her passing late in the evening, I called him, and we talked. He expressed some of what he was experiencing at the moment, and we prayed together. The prayer seemed to strengthen him, and then he confided a secret he carried with him. He had a dream months before that he had passed away.
During the months after his wife’s death and his diagnosis, my cousin and I met from time to time for lunch or just a visit in his home, or dinner at my house. He and I talked repeatedly about family history, his heartache, and his need to address wrongs accumulated throughout his life and the importance of forgiveness.
Then came his hospital stay and his dream on the wide path in November.
By the end of February, he had been in and out of the hospital (the out times in rehab facilities) and had endured multiple surgeries, procedures, and treatments, along with a wide variety of medications including repeated antibiotics. Suddenly, he was on Hospice with only days or hours ahead, his body exhausted and completely compromised. But his spirit was alive and ready to meet his Heavenly Father! Who would have guessed I would ever get such a privilege and honor….to spend those last few months with him, preparing with him and planning unknowingly for his heavenly departure?
He battled to the end it seemed. He had expressed a desire to share his dream and encourage others down the right path, another chance for them, like him, but that opportunity never came the way he envisioned it. He and I talked a couple of weeks before he got to the point of no real communication and I asked him if I could write and share his dream with others. He adamantly agreed to my request.
Like my relative, how many have gone to church their whole lives, following the example of their parents and other family members; in good standing at their church; possibly held offices within the leadership; served at every opportunity? All good things. But as in the dream, they likely have gone about day to day life, allowing Christianity to be a component of who they are. How many don’t take the time to consider the value of a vibrant, “on-fire” relationship with an Almighty Father God? Instead, how many identify themselves as Christian like political party affiliation, or a geographical definition of where they live?
Revelation 3:16
So, because you are lukewarm–neither hot nor cold–I am about to spit you out of my mouth.
Christianity does not dictate their lives, but merely factors in… How much? In all probability, it depends on the day and the activities. And then it isn’t to stop and pray about an issue that comes up, but rather to consider what would be the right versus wrong thing from a moral standpoint? From the conversations my relative and I had, I concluded that prayer, study, and relationship pursuit with the Father were not priorities. Possibly not even understood as a necessity. Additionally, the prayer of salvation can be an attempt to achieve fire insurance. Casual Christianity, the choice of many in this modern busy life, is a habitual practice, not a pursued relationship vibrant and alive and influential in every area of our lives. My relative was by confession a casual Christian, faithful and devoted, but casual – the Bible would term it religious. I am also plagued by the scripture in the same chapter:
Matthew 7:21-23
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!”
How many on that appointed day will say, “Lord, Lord…” and not be recognized by the Savior because they did not do the WILL of the Father? Because they were casual and distracted with their “stuff”, as my relative phrased it, or preoccupied with the cares of daily life?
I am taken with the fact that those that encouraged my relative in the dream to continue on the path were people he knew. They weren’t strangers. They called him by name. They knew him well enough to tug his sleeve or pat him on the back. Those all around him were familiar to him, going in the same direction. That realization shook me to the core! How many will be charged with pointing others in the wrong direction while headed in the wrong direction? My relative found himself in a somewhat surprising place of existence that the Lord addressed in the dream. It is the Lord’s supreme Will that every one of us continually pursues a right place of relationship with Him, surrendered, devoted, and seeking to do His Will at every turn. It breaks His heart when one of us gets caught up on the “wide path.”
One more thing, isn’t it a beautiful and supreme act of love that the Father pursued my cousin for over a year through his dreams and experiences to prepare him for Eternity with his Lord? How the Father loves each and every one of us.
2 Peter 3:9b
Instead, He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
Join me in thanking an Almighty God for His Love, His provisions, and His faithfulness to my relative and each of us… To my beloved cousin, how I love you and look forward to joining you soon! You, your dreams, and experiences changed my Christian View and my relationship with my Lord for Eternity!
Recent Comments